Gonçalo Pena

Priest Francisco went to the colonies to bless the Amerindians and grant the pious sacrament of baptism onto the godless people living in the rainforest. To share the joy of celibacy and monogamy with the venereal lot—that was his intention. He later confessed the hardship of converting such a demonic horde. What trials of seduction he endured! The naive savages constantly flashing their bare skin and wiggling their cute little nipples inadvertently. “In the name of the Holy Spirit I baptize thee in the river Amazon! Rejoice, for I have cleansed you of all your past pagan sins and evils… Please be so gentle as to fetch the cigarettes, my young padawan.”